Well... I have to be a Debbie Downer tonight, but I promise to get it all out and get over it after that. Today was a rough day. Justin & I went through the stuff we were storing at his dad's house that we hadn't moved over to our house (now that we have a place to store it ourselves) and I found a tote of my mom's stuff that I hadn't gone through yet. I'll spare the details, mainly because I don't feel like discussing them on the internet, but I just found things that left me feeling happy, sad, angry & disappointed all at once. It was an emotional morning, to say the least. Justin was there, just like he always is, to pick me up though, as were a few of my closest friends. *sigh* I just miss her.... so dang much. I read some words today that were very comforting though, words that I didn't even know I needed to hear, so I'm gonna focus on that. I just wish she was here...... I just miss her so much....
I'm also feeling crappy about the weight loss thing. I know I'm gonna have "down" days, where I get discouraged, and luckily they don't happen often, but today was one of them. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with how the day started, but nonetheless, I'm having a crappy day with that too. I went and ran, and I also did the kettlebell, so I feel good that I got a really good workout in. The thing I'm feeling down about is that I haven't lost anymore weight, and I'm to the point now where I don't see my body changing anymore, I just see disgusting-ness. *sigh* I hate looking in the mirror. I can tell I've lost weight in my face. Buuuutttt that's about the only place I see it. Of course I don't see the big ol' prego belly anymore, but instead I just see a tummy that's stretched out. I know I just gotta do some cardio to lose the fat and do some weights to tone up, but it's just not happening NEAR as fast as I'd like!!! I keep reminding myself that it didn't come on overnight, it's not going to come off that way either, but I'm also the type that I need to see results quick or I get discouraged and give up. I guess the positive is, I haven't gained any weight.... But knowing where I want to be, and knowing I still have sooooooo far to go............ It just SUCKS!!
I know tomorrow is going to be a better day. Today was just "one of those days". I'm not giving up. I am in this to win this! I will get to where I want to be! I will look as good as I want to. Through hard work & a LOT of determination, I WILL GET THERE! I feel so blessed to have so many people that have my back on this and keep encouraging me. PLEASE DON'T STOP! I listen to every word and it really, really does make a difference. I'm so thankful for my husband for always being my rock and always telling me "You can do this!"
Another positive, I ran faster & longer than I have before, tonight!! :) I'll take it.
Love
