Mirror, Mirror

As of now, I'm down 92 lbs. I am so close to the finish line it scares the crap out of me. To be honest. I just know how I felt when I finally got under the 200 mark, when I finally got over my plateau and saw the 188 mark, when I saw the 180 mark, when I was finally in the 170's! Had it not been for all the hard work I KNOW that I've done, I don't think I'd believe it. I am just speechless than in almost a year, I have lost almost 100 lbs. ONEHUNDREDPOUNDS. Do you know how that feels? Any of you that read my blog? I can tell you. It leaves you speechless. It leaves you crying tears of joy when you see the number continuing to go down, when you know that you were once 271 lbs and now you are in the 170's. It's amazing. I really don't know how to describe it. It makes you feel proud, it makes you feel accomplished, it makes you feel happier than you've ever felt before about yourself, it makes you feel like you can really DO ANYTHING, that you are stronger than you ever knew and on and on and on. It's unbelievable and I can't believe it has happened and is happening to ME. It feels good. I told my SIL Heidi this weekend while we were getting ready in Manhattan, that it's really strange to me that I can look at myself in the mirror and honestly don't recognize the person looking back at me. I watch my mouth move when I'm talking to her or anyone else when I'm at home or whatever, and I can't believe that's really ME staring back. It's a really strange feeling, to not hardly recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror. I suppose if you haven't been in that position, or ever felt that way, it's really hard to imagine. But, it's true. I just feel like I look so, so different. It's crazy. It's surreal. I know I still have a long way to go, but it feels good to actually feel good about how you look. I haven't felt that way for a long, long time... if ever.

I am wearing size 11/12 right now in my jeans, and Medium size t-shirts are very loose on me, that hasn't happened in a long long time. So long I can't remember. Before I got pregnant, I was wearing some 16, some size 18 jeans, and XL shirts and most were still snug. My goal at this point, is to get into a size 7/8 jeans and see how I feel when I get to that point. It may or may not be my ending point, we'll just have to see how I feel, but that's the goal that I have right now, to fit into that size very comfortably. So, I'm anxious to see how long it'll take me to get to that point!! Of course I'm hoping to reach my 171 goal by Griffyn's birthday, May 17th, after that I am hoping to be down to 145-150 by Heidi's wedding in September. The high end of "normal weight" for my height is 145, so I think once I'm in the "healthy" range, I'll see how I feel being there and decide if I want to lose anymore. My ULTIMATE goal is to just feel good about where I'm at, to be happy with it. I definitely feel good about all that I've accomplished so far, but I know I'm not where I want to be, so we'll see what that takes. 

Justin went to MEPS today. He did all his medical stuff and paperwork and all that fun stuff. The just of it is, he IS medically qualified to go on AD, everyone there told him as long as he can get his extension to go through since he won't be done by May 13th, there's no reason he won't get on AD. They told him last week that the only MOS that is still open for him to go into at this point is the one that he wanted anyway, CounterIntel, so that's pretty awesome!! They said that since that is the MOS he's going to go into that he has to get Top Secret security clearance. He already has Secret clearance from when he went in, but since he's going to go into Intel he has to have Top Secret so that could take some time for them to get all the interviews of ppl that know Justin, done. So we'll see how that goes, but that's all I know at this point. Everything is still moving along nicely, but there's still some time before anything concrete will happen. :)

Love