Wow! So I really need to do a better job of keeping this thing updated more than just once a month! I just feel like I don't hardly have time to sit down and write, and I hate that! I need to start just MAKING time, even if it's just a short little entry, to keep it a little more up to date! :)
Let's see, what has happened since the last time I checked in?? Well, the first part of March was rough. I had to go through the 3 year anniversary of my mom's death on the 16th. I hate that she is gone. I hate that I can't just call her or go see her.... I hate that it's already been 3 years. I can't believe it. I miss her so much. I wish she could be here for all of this. I keep watching all these baby shows & I also see pics of friends on FB updating after they have their babies and their moms are there holding their precious little ones, and I just cry because I know that I won't get that... It just makes my heart hurt. :( Of course I know that she will be there in spirit, but it's not the same. Not even close. I am lucky that I do have so much other family that will be there and will be excited. :) On the 18th, we got to do our 3D/4D of our baby girl!! It was so exciting to see her cute little face. I was a little disappointed that we didn't get better pics than we did, but she just kept being shy and hiding her face! :) Only a few more weeks and we will get to see the real thing though!! On Sunday the 20th, I attended my baby shower, held by my wonderful SILs! It was so amazing. The best I could've ever imagined. So many people came to help me celebrate and we had a really wonderful time. I got a lot of stuff that I had registered for, which means our list of things we still have to get is very, very small! Nicole made a diaper cake that was completely unbelievable. I loved it! So many diapers to get us started too!! :) I really enjoyed being able to see everyone and spend time with them. It was really a great day. It also made me miss my mom a lot. I just wish she could be here. I'm sure I was even more emotional that day because the 20th was the day of her funeral. I only broke down twice though! I was proud of that. It was hard. It's always hard to do things without her. To have to have those thoughts of "I really wish mom could've seen that, or been here for that..." etc. is always hard.... I also got to pick up my little brother Dj on Fri. the 18th and keep him until Fri. the 25th! It was so awesome to have him here for a whole week during spring break! We did a lot of fun stuff. We went to the zoo in Hutch & also the zoo in GB. We picked up my other brother Hunter and he came back with us & stayed the night with us here and got to play xbox with Dj too. We also went to the Cosmosphere agin this year. It was great! We had a really good time with him and I was soooo glad he got to come. :) Well, by that point it was time to go back to work and we only had 1 week of March left! I couldn't believe how quick that month went, and how quick this YEAR has gone by! It feels like we were just at Christmas, and here it is already April! It's crazy, crazy, crazy.
Well, I am 32 weeks pregnant today and I feel her move soooooo much. It's so amazing. This whole experience. I really thought I'd never get to this point. I think that's why even now, even though I know everything is fine, and we are going to have a baby in 56 days or less, it still seems so surreal! I asked Justin just last night when he thought it was really going to sink in, and if he thought it would be when we bring her home and really realize we aren't giving her back, she's OURS! :) I'm so excited. I really can't wait. I will admit the only thing I'm really nervous about is how it's going to change "us", as far as our relationship goes. We have such an amazing relationship right now that I don't want anything to change. I can't imagine it being different than it has been for the last 5 years. We have both just seen a lot of people's lives change after they had kids. Some become almost strangers, just "roommates" living together. Some fight a lot and barely seem to get along, except on rare occasion, some have completely different thoughts on parenting and tend to undermine each other in the way they raise their kids... I just can't imagine that happening to us and I hope that any changes that happen to us after she's here, are only positive. Justin, luckily, isn't worried about it all. He is always reassuring me that everything is going to be fine, reminding me that we've already been through so much together, and so many really difficult things and we've made it just fine. He also reminds me, and I don't think it could be any more true, that we've been together for 5 YEARS. We've been married for 2.5 YEARS. We have had a lot of time to be just "us". It isn't like we just got together and had a kid shortly after, to where we didn't have a chance to really, really build our "Ashley & Justin relationship" before we added kids to that as well. And he's so right. I think that will be a huge positive in this whole thing, and that we waited until we were 26 to have our first baby! We got the chance to do things we wanted to do, to spend the time we wanted & needed to with just each other, before we become a family of 3! :) I'm also a little bit nervous about moving in the near future, across the country! This will be a HUGE change for both of us, first of all, but then to do it right after we have the big change of a newborn as well, is going to be.... interesting! :) We are both really excited about our future though & everything that it holds. I can't wait to in the AD life! I know Justin is really excited about doing the USMC thing full time instead of just one weekend a month. I know he's going to be the best Marine & I'm already so incredibly proud of all that he has accomplished in his life. He has 2, T-W-O, degrees, he has a job that he loves & supports both of us, he's a volunteer firefighter, he's an OUTSTANDING Marine already, he's the best husband in the world and I know he's going to be the best daddy in the world too. I feel so incredibly blessed!! I know that the future is gonna be tough, but just saying those words reminds me of 2 great quotes I heard many years ago... "God found some of the strongest women & made their match a United States Marine." "God never said it would be easy, only promised that it would be worth it!" I love both of those! :) I can't wait to travel the world with my husband and our family!! Not only that, but be able to LIVE in so many different places! How awesome is that??! Even though I KNOW we will definitely miss our family & friends here, it will be so nice to really be able to see the great big world out there, instead of just hiding under this little rock known as Kansas. :) Kansas has been pretty good to us, for the last 26 years, but it's time to move on to bigger & better things!! :) Sooooooo excited to get this opportunity!! :)
Anyway, let's see what we have coming up to look forward to. I have one full week of work left, and then I have Mon the 11th & Tues the 12th off for parent/teacher conferences! I'm looking forward to having a 4 day weekend next weekend!! Especially since Justin will be off those 2 days too! Then when I go back on Wed. the 13th, we'll be celebrating 5 years together on this day!! I also get to look forward to going to Wichita that evening with my SIL Nicole to eat at OG & see Kenny Chesney in concert!! Sooooo excited for that! :) The following week I only have a 4 day work week due to Good Friday, and then I have one full work week left until MAY! The 30th of April is also the KSU spring game. We cannot WAIT to go! It's been soooo long since we've been in Manhattan & we really miss it. It'll be great to go back for a few days! We're gonna go up on Fri. the 29th and stay overnight, then go to the game on Sat. & stay that night as well. It looks like it'll be my SIL Heidi & her bf Jarid, my parents & brothers, and my MIL & FIL and possibly another friend from here too going with us. It is gonna be a BLAST! Even if I have to be the DD, I still won't mind. We always have so much fun. :) Can't wait!
Lots of things to look forward to this month & even more next month with the birth of our baby girl! I can't believe it's already time to say she'll be here NEXT MONTH! Gosh it feels like it's still Sept when I first found out! May seemed soooo far away, and now it's JUST around the corner! I am so blessed!! We are looking forward to so many wonderful things this year! 2011 is going to be our best year yet!
Love...
