So, yesterday, G slept until NOON. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I couldn't believe it, but it totally happened. I put her to bed at 10:30, and she woke up twice to eat, and went right back to sleep after that, without me even trying to convince her. lol She actually did the same thing today, except she slept until 11:30. :) Pretty happy mama not gonna lie!! :) So yesterday I got her up and around and then I went to help my SIL at her job to get some things done around the office for a few hours and Justin stayed home with G. After I got home he went to the fire meeting and was there 'til about 9. My other SIL, Heidi & I went on a walk with G that evening. It was nice! Then we just came home and relaxed. Actually didn't go to bed until about 2:30am! Luckily, G slept waayyy in today so it didn't phase me. I went back to help my SIL again for the afternoon today and then went on a bike ride with Heidi tonight. We went 9.7 miles. Now we're just relaxin'. Justin has to stay up most of the night since he works tomorrow night, he will sleep most of tomorrow. Not sure yet if I will go back to help my SIL Hollie again or not. She's supposed to let me know. :)
So the main reason of tonight's post is going to be about how far I've come. Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT! lol I have been looking back at pictures over the past few nights and it's made days like today (where I don't see the # on the scale go down, just stay the same) a lot easier to "deal with" & stay motivated!!! I'm gonna share a few pictures. The first couple are going to be from around last Spring/Summer (2010).....
The next few are from when I was pregnant.....
And then after I had G.....
What do you think? Can you see a difference?? Well it certainly gave me even more motivation to see it in myself looking back over the pictures. :) I also decided that I'm going to share my #'s. I decided tonight, while taking a bath, that it really doesn't matter, right?? It's just a number.
My husband had no idea, ok maybe he had an IDEA of what I weighed, but he didn't "know" until I got pregnant and until I fell at work back in Feb. and had to go to the hospital and they asked me and he was there to hear it. I wanted to bawl. I was so embarrassed. All the times he went with me to my appts they would just weigh me on a digital scale that only I and the nurse could see and they never said it out loud so I didn't have to worry about him "knowing". I'm not really sure why it bothered me so much for him to know, I guess just because I was so embarrassed myself and I definitely wasn't proud of it, being something I'd struggled with my whole life. But, then he knew. And he didn't care. (Not that I expected him to care.) In fact he never even mentioned it. He's always just told me that he thinks I'm beautiful, that he thinks I'm "hot" that he thinks I'm sexy. It has NEVER mattered to him how much I weighed or how big I got, or how gross I got, he always loved me "through it" and he never put me down, he never even so much as HINTED that I needed to lose weight. I love him so much, for lots of reasons, but a big one is that. He's always just loved ME. He's always been incredibly attracted to me, like can't keep his hands off me, lol too much info I'm sure, but I don't care. And it makes me feel good. Even when I felt disgusting, he told me EVERY SINGLE DAY I was beautiful, that he loved me more than anything and always proved that he has never lost interest. *Sigh* He's wonderful. I'm so glad he's mine.
So anyway, back to the point, I decided tonight to be vulnerable, to just share the number, and be proud of how far I've come. So, instead of waiting until I get to that "magic" number I keep talking about and THEN sharing, I'm just going to do it tonight. Aren't you excited?!? lol!!
So.... at my heaviest, while I was pregnant, and ever in my life I weighed... 271 lbs.
I intentionally made this number small because that's how it made me feel. Like I wasn't even human, I was just a gross blob walking around. So, if you haven't done the math yet, that also means I can use the SAME numbers from above to get to my current weight, just switching them around a little....
217!
Still not a number I'm proud of, but I'm proud of how far I've come!!!! :) Which means, I have 7 lbs to lose to be at goal #1, weighing less than I did on my wedding day, almost 3 years ago. And I have 18 lbs to lose to be at goal #2, weighing less than 200 lbs!! :) After that, at this point anyway, my ultimate goal is to weigh around 170. It's still probably heavier than I will want to be, but that's my "ultimate" goal right now anyway! :) Baby steps right??? So!! Now you know. It's officially on the internet now, but I don't care. I'm working towards being a better me and it's gotta start somewhere! Now it doesn't have to be some big secret. :)
I also decided that I'm going to buy a pair of jeans, haven't decided what size yet, and use those at an extra motivator to get so that I can fit in them! I think that will help me to focus a little bit less on the actual number as well. But right now, the number on the scale is really important to me. I do feel better, I know I look better, but it's just always been what I looked at, and I will continue to do so. But, I figure it's going to be an extra motivator, too, to have something like the pair of jeans to look forward too, that way I'm not only working towards a certain number on the scale, but a certain look for myself as well. You may not agree, but it's what I'm going to try! :)
Speaking of jeans, I'm gonna have to get some new ones because the ones I have, even after washing them and putting them on out of the dryer are loose! After wearing them around for awhile they LITERALLY will fall to the ground if I don't hold them up. :) It feels AWESOME, but sucks not to have any jeans you don't have to worry about showing your butt off in!! lol
Well, I suppose, that's really all there is for tonight. As if that's not enough, haha. So I'm gonna snuggle up with my hubby and watch a movie before I head to bed. I hope you all are enjoying your week!! :) Tomorrow's hump day already!! :)
1. I'm thankful my daughter has slept in the last two days!!
2. I'm thankful my husband is such an awesome support system for me and encourages me and always makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.
3. I'm thankful that I've been able to help my SIL out and make a little bit of extra $$!
4. I'm thankful for Heidi who always gives great company on our bike rides or walks. :)
5. I'm happy that my hubby only works 1 day out of this weekend (normal weekend off but he's covering for someone on Sat.) so we can spend time together!
6. I'm thankful that God never gives up on me, that he's always there to pick me up when I've fallen.
Love!!
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