Man. I gotta do something to calm myself down. IDK what my problem is, but I find myself in tears a lot in the last few days. Sometimes for no reason, others for stupid things and sometimes for making things a bigger deal than they need to be (which I'm famous for.) I dunno what the deal is. I just feel really anxious and uneasy and overwhelmed and just I dunno, not like myself. I wish I knew what the problem was.
G woke up at 6 this morning for a bottle and after I fed her and put her back to bed in her room, maybe 10 min. later her monitor went off. If you remember, she has a Snuza monitor, it clips to her diaper and it tracks her breathing, when she doesn't breathe for 15 secs it will vibrate to try to rouse her awake so she will breathe. If she goes another 5 secs without breathing it sets an alarm off. So it was beeping really loud and I went running in there (her room is literally 5 steps away from our room) and her eyes were closed and I ripped the blanket off of her and she opened her eyes and looked at me, so I'm not really sure if she had actually stopped breathing or if it went off for some other reason, but it was still in perfect place and it's never gone off before. Scary doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. So tonight, I was getting her ready for bed and I couldn't find her monitor anywhere. I panicked. I just kept thinking "how are you going to sleep without having that on her? She's going to have to sleep with you tonight because there's no way she's sleeping in her room and you in yours without her having that thing on, especially knowing it had gone off last night (this morning)." I looked EVERYWHERE. I couldn't find it anywhere. I was bawling. I txt Justin at work and asked if he knew where it was. He didn't, he just told me to check all the places I had already looked. I sat down for awhile trying to rack my brain as to where I had put it. I always put it on top of her changing table, that's where I put it on and take it off so it makes sense. It wasn't anywhere on it. I looked for over an hour for it. I finally ended up finding it laying by her changing table on the floor behind a box of diapers.... Wow. I'm sooooo thankful I was able to find it. I don't know what I would've done had I not been able to. *sigh*... I am a hot mess..... I feel like I'm pregnant again, being so emotional. (I know I'm not though, so don't get any crazy ideas). I just need a really hot, relaxing bath....
I am sooooooo ready for the weekend. I just need my husband. And lucky for me, he will be here with us alllllllll weekend. I am so ready for this. I know he will make everything all better. He always does. That's why I love him. Well, one of many reasons, but he can always, always, always make me feel better no matter what. I just NEED a weekend with him. I am really, really looking forward to getting to spend the whole weekend with him. I could cry just thinking about how happy I am that it's finally gonna happen for the first time in MONTHS. I just can't wait. Justin is planning to get up by noon tomorrow since he gets off at 7am, this is super early for him, but he wants to get up so he can enjoy the day. We're gonna go to the fair whenever he gets up and around. I soooo can't wait! Even though I've been there twice already, I'm just excited to spend the day with him & G!!
Didn't do a whole lot today. Hung out with G and then made some bows for Traci this afternoon. I've gotten 7 done so far. She bought some really cute ribbon and I think they've turned out pretty good so far. I've sent her pics and she has liked them all, so I guess I'm doin' alright! :)
Alright, I'm gonna cut this short so I can go take a nice hot bath and try to make myself feel a little better. Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day! :)
1. I'm SO thankful for the 53 degree weather today!!! LOVE IT!
2. I'm thankful for having some time to do some bows, I really enjoy doing it. :)
3. I'm really, really, really glad that I was able to find G's monitor. You have no idea how much I was panicking....
Love
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